


The Fractured Duality

by FateRex



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Angst, Body Horror, F/M, Fluff, Pain, Romance, Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-10-11
Updated: 2015-10-19
Packaged: 2018-04-25 19:59:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 3,150
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4974115
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FateRex/pseuds/FateRex
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Haise's past is resurfacing. Will it consume him?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Scars

Duality was a trait engrained within Kaneki Ken. Not by choice, of course, but necessity. A cruel amalgamation of a broken will and long-standing regret. Even his reflection glared back at him with uncertainty. Haise was aware, at least vaguely, that the person he was now hadn’t always been there. Even the person he was before had to be cut out of the original without a hint of mercy. He was the third revision. Haise hoped that that made him lucky.

It had felt like a lifetime since the young investigator had given himself a thorough physical rundown. Now that he really examined his body closely, Haise noticed how little scarring remained. Areas where he’d been gashed severely or cut open in previous battles were now little more than patches of skin with a mildly darker tone than the rest of him. It churned inside him as he clenched his fingers into a fist. The children would carry their scars for the rest of their lives, being asked about them by their children. They would be able to recall years down the path the time when they risked their lives to protect those around them. They would wear them proudly as evidence of their commitment and sacrifice.

But not Haise. He would be a blank slate, distanced from the others, unable to share their victories and losses. There would be no proof of his love for them – only the begrudging pristineness that latched onto him despite everything.

“How long will you continue to prolong the inevitable?” It echoed from behind him, reverberating around his mind ceaselessly. Haise clutched his head, a pained expression sweeping over his face. “You gain nothing by fretting over trivialities such as scars and future bonds with those children. You will have neither, you know this.”

“No.” Haise fell to his knees before keeling over, still clutching tightly around his skull.

“You speak as if you have a choice in the matter. There is no choice for you here, only a simple truth. Would you like to know what it is?”

Shivers ran up and down the length of his body making him convulse violently.

“It is a truth you have known your whole life, but refused to acknowledge. That is until, you were forced to. The pain that you experienced in those days, was the best thing that could have happened to you. It made you see what you really were.”

Haise could feel the consciousness fading as parts of his body stopped responding to him. Dark encroached within his vision as the shadow inside his mind dissipated with one last piercing word,

“Weak.”


	2. Memory

Time didn’t have mercy on Haise, it didn’t stop and let him collect himself. It didn’t even slow. It flowed ceaselessly, it battered him. It brought the future on in enormous, unavoidable waves.

By the time he regained consciousness the light of day had already started to fade. There was no more voice or lingering pain in his head, just the feeling of cold tile against his cheek. Then came a knock at the door. Haise was still disorientated as he picked himself up of the floor and went to answer it. Behind the door stood a beautiful young girl wearing a flowing white summer dress. It fell just above her knees with a large red bow tied around the middle. Haise was convinced he was still dreaming.

“You look rough, Haise,” Touka said with a smile.

After a few blinks, the investigator regained himself. “Ah, Miss Kirishima, my apologies. I don’t make it a point to be this dishevelled when guests come over.”

Touka giggled. “It’s fine. What were you doing?”

“Oh,” Haise hesitated for a moment, “just a bad dream…that’s all.”

The girl’s eyes softened. “I see.”

“So, what brings you all the way here Miss Kirishima.”

Touka frowned slightly and stepped back. “I think I’m a little hurt, Haise. But I suppose you aren’t the best at remembering things are you?” She stepped forward again and took his hand. “You promised me a date.”

The words pierced Haise straight through the heart. _Of course, I’m such an idiot._ “I’m so sorry Miss Kirishima, I completely forgot.”

She smiled and shook her head. “It’s okay, I understand you’re very busy. There’s not much time for people like me is there?”

“No, that’s not-“ he grabbed Touka’s hand and inadvertently pulled her towards him until their faces were only an inch apart. Their eyes locked and Haise gazed into those captivating blue depths as if they were endless. There was safety in those eyes, Haise felt it tug at his heart. These were the eyes of someone gentle, someone caring. Someone who understood the pain of loss and wanted to make sure no one else would ever need to. He knew, because they were his eyes.

“Well, Haise, I didn’t know you were such a forward person,” said Touka cheekily. “Were you hoping we could have our date without ever leaving your apartment?” She curled her lip slightly.

The investigator’s cheeks flared up a bright cherry red as he let go of her hand and backed off quickly. “W-what, n-no! I’m not that type of person, Miss Kirishima…”

Touka giggled again. “I know, I’m just teasing. And Haise..”

He looked up. “Call me Touka.”

“Ah, okay, Miss Touka.”

She shook her head and stepped inside. “Touka.”

“T-then, T-Touka.”

She nodded and smiled. “I hope you’re not coming out dressed like that.”

Haise examined himself and clearly understood what Touka was saying. There were creases everywhere on his clothes and on top of that he hadn’t even had a shower. “Uh, yes, you’re right. This isn’t very fit for a date.” He smiled awkwardly. “I’d have to change and have a shower-“

“I’ll wait,” said Touka.

“Huh?”

“I’ll wait while you get ready.”

“B-but-“

“Haise. We’re both adults. Unless you’re planning on doing something unsavoury to me, I think waiting while someone takes a shower and changes isn’t that big of a deal.” _Not that I would mind if you did something…_

“Okay…then, please make yourself at home. I won’t be long, Miss-, I mean, Touka.” Haise smiled and rushed off to dress himself.

Longing was the nature of the smile that appeared across Touka’s lips. Longing with a twinge of sadness.

“Liar.”


	3. Dusk

Evening captured the city in its bright summer atmosphere. There was an innocence about this dusk that made Haise forget the things he’d seen here. Beside him, Touka walked softly, keeping pace a foot behind.

“Don’t you usually work today, Touka?” Haise glanced towards the girl with a little smile and a hint of intrigue in his eyes.

“Ah, I asked the manager for some time off since exams are coming up, but I thought this might be a nice way to relax before I hit the books.”

“Oh, so I’m just a buffer for exams. I see.”

“No that’s-”

The investigator flashed a cheeky grin. “Just kidding.” Touka’s cheeks burned up a little and she looked away for a second before glancing back to find Haise with the same gleeful look on his face. For all intents and purposes, it should have been good for her to see him like this, and it was, but, she couldn’t help but feel as though with every minute that passed, the chance of him coming back decreased. “Touka?”

“Huh? Oh, sorry, I spaced out for a second.”

Haise chuckled. “It’s alright. Everything okay?”

She nodded and looked around. They were close to the 20th ward. “Yes, everything’s fine. I haven’t been around here for a long time.”

“Did you used to come here often?”

There were still miniscule remnants of what had happened three years prior. You wouldn’t have noticed it if you hadn’t been there. Scratches and cracks in surrounding buildings that looked as though they had been there forever. Markings on the street, the lingering scent of death. But Touka had been there, she’d bore witness to the three-sided massacre that had taken everything from her. “There was...a coffee shop around here that I used to come to.”

“Coffee shop? Ah, you mean Anteiku?”

Touka’s heart skipped. “Y-yeah, that was its name.”

“I’ve heard the name thrown around at the office, but whenever I ask someone about it they never give me a straight answer. Must be something only the special classes get to access. All I’ve heard about it are rumours, like that it was run by ghouls. Scary, huh?” The girl swallowed hard, begging him internally to stop talking about it and trying her best to hold back the tears welling up behind her eyes. She forced a smile. “Oh, but, I guess I’m not one to talk.” Haise smiled awkwardly and rubbed the back of his neck.

They continued to walk through the 20th ward. Memories came flooding back into Touka’s mind; most of them were painful. She glanced over at Haise and noticed that look of curiosity, the same one he used to have. “Do you find it difficult?”

Haise snapped out of his daze. “Oh, sorry, Touka, I guess I got distracted this time. What was it?”

“Do you find it difficult, you know, not being able to eat? And having to live with people's distrust? Does it ever get to you?”

The investigator’s smile carried with it its own brand of sadness, Touka could see that. “I would be lying if I said it didn’t. People who are different either accept that fact and use it to their strengths or they reject it and try to fit themselves into the mould of normalcy. Maybe if I was the only one like this, then it would eat away at me more, but I have four wonderful children who share my traits and I can rely on. They help me everyday to see the good in my situation.” His eyes were soft, like his voice and his tone brimmed with sincerity. Touka understood. “And as long as I have your incredible coffee to drink I don’t think there’s any way I could miss food.” Haise grinned.

The girl blushed softly. “Then I’ll be sure to keep making it for you.”

He nodded. “I’m counting on you. By the way, we’re close to your university, right? Maybe we should go eat something?”

“Ah, no, that’s alright. I’m not very hungry. Let’s just keep walking, okay?”

“If it is the young lady’s request, then walk we shall,” said Haise with a small bow and an offering of his arm.

Touka giggled and slipped her arm around his as they continued walking. 


	4. Insensitive

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shirazu messes up.

The light pried Shirazu’s eyes open despite his best efforts to keep them shut. It was evening already so why the hell was it so bright out. The quinx boy groaned and sat up restlessly. He blinked a few times, trying to familiarise with the light. Looking down, he noticed a fine layer of sweat had formed upon his chest. Damn summer days.

“Oh, Ginshi, you’re all shiny,” came a voice a from beside him. He glanced down and was met with Saiko flashing him a full grin.

“Shut up. If you keep smiling like that it’s gonna stay that way permanently.”

“Eh? Really? Scary.” Shirazu shook his head, swung his legs off the side and was about to get up, before being pulled back onto the bed. Saiko crawled on top and straddled him around his waist. “Where are you going?”

He tried his best to ignore the fact that the only thing Saiko was wearing was a crop-top and a bunny panties. Shirazu turned away. “Get off me, I’m taking a shower.”

Saiko giggled. “Can I join you?”

“No.”

“Aw, come on. Please?”

“No, get off, Saiko.”

The girl made a huffing sound and crossed her arms. “How come I never get to decide when we play?”

“Because you always want to play,” Shirazu said, rolling his eyes.

She giggled again and smirked, reaching her hand back to his thighs. “To most guys that’s a good thing.”  
Just as she was about slide her hand down, Shirazu said, “Saiko, you’re heavy, get off.”

Those two words hit her like a bolt straight to the heart and she fell off to the side, sprawled across the bed. Shirazu sighed and got up, heading for the bathroom. “Ginshi, you idiot. I hate you. I hope you die.” The words were accompanied by small sniffles. _Great, you did it now, idiot._

He tugged at his hair and turned back towards the bed. Saiko was curled up, facing away from him, little squeaks mixed in with her sniffles. Shirazu crawled across the bed, sitting up on his knees behind her. _What do I do?_  He leant down a little and whispered, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it.” No response. The quinx boy gulped and ventured for a small kiss on the shoulder, followed by another apology. This time, Saiko flicked him a glance before looking away again. Shirazu smiled a little and continued kissing her around her collarbone and slowly up to her neck, apologising after each one. By the time he reached her cheeks she’d turned over onto her back and was giggling uncontrollably.

“Ginshi,” she said said with a happy whine, “you can stop now, you’re forgiven.”

He shook his head and wrapped his arms around her, picking her up off the bed. Saiko let out a little surprised shriek and wrapped her legs around Shirazu’s waist as he spun around, still kissing her all over. Then, he stopped and looked her in the eyes with that sharkish smile of his. “I am truly, deeply sorry Miss Yonebayashi. I was careless in my choice of words and I’ve hurt your feelings. I don’t deserve it, but, please, I request that you find it in your heart to forgive a lowly man such as myself.” He closed his eyes and looked down solemnly.

The next thing Shirazu realised was Saiko’s soft lips against his own and the feel of her small hands tangled in his hair. He returned the kiss with a smile and an internal sigh. When she pulled away, Saiko was all grins again. “You’re insensitive.” He nodded. “You’re stupid.” He nodded. “You’re an idiot.” He nodded. “I love you.” He nodded. The quinx girl pressed her forehead against Shirazu’s and touched his nose with her own. “I will forgive you, if you take a shower with me.” They both looked at each other and laughed.


	5. Home

As they stepped out of the bathroom, Shirazu could swear he was sweating more now than he had before they went in. Saiko yawned beside him and went to fall face first onto the bed. He smiled and then went to rummage through the closet for something to wear.

“Hey, Ginshi,” came Saiko’s muffled words from behind.

“Yeah?”

“Doesn’t Haise have a date today?”

Shirazu pulled out a black collared shirt, a pair of slacks and the shark boxers Saiko had gotten him for his birthday. “He did mention it before, I think. Knowing him, though…” He unwrapped the towel from around his waist and threw it off to the side. He watched in the mirror as Saiko sneaked a glance backwards.

“Oh no, you think he forgot?”

“I wouldn’t put it past him.” Shirazu pulled on his boxers, then his slacks right after. “Ah, have you seen my belt?”

“Why are you getting dressed? I thought we weren’t supposed to meet the others until eight.” Saiko rolled over onto her back and tilted her head until she could see the time on the bedside clock. “There’s still a couple of hours,” she said, sitting up slowly.

The boy kept fumbling through his closet. “We’re running low on milk and bread, I’ll go pick some up. I’ll be back before it’s time to go.” Saiko smiled. “Seriously though, have you seen my belt?”

“I think it’s out on the lounge.”

“Okay.” Shirazu pulled on his shirt but left it unbuttoned and went out to the living room. Their apartment wasn’t great by any means, but they made do. There was a small kitchen that was seldom used and in front of it a smallish living area with only enough room for one couch and a TV. Saiko stacked all her games up on the floor next to the couch, which annoyed Shirazu, but he’d learned to live with it. There was no dining table, since they usually just ended up eating out or if they brought something back they would eat on the couch while watching some anime that Saiko was into. Neither of them dared to cook for themselves.

The quinx boy picked up the belt from the lounge and put it on before buttoning up his shirt. He grabbed his wallet from the kitchen counter and headed for the door. “Saiko, I’m going,” he called out.

“Hold on,” came the reply as Saiko stumbled out of the room. She was wearing a plain T-shirt and a skirt. “I’ll come with you.” Shirazu gave her a puzzled look. “What?”

“You hate shopping. And plus all you end up doing is buying sweets.”

She blushed. “W-well, it’s a nice day and I thought, you know, it would be nice to take a walk and...maybe since we’re dating now that...I should learn to cook.”

Shirazu’s mouth dropped. He tried finding the words to say but kept turning up blanks. “You...uh, what?”

Saiko walked up and looked up at him, still a hint of red in her cheeks. “I don’t want to be that girl who can’t do anything but eat and play games anymore. I want to be useful, I want to be good to you…like you are to me.”

“Huh? No, I don’t do anything special.” He wasn’t being modest, Shirazu really didn’t do anything. As far as he was concerned it was the fact that they were both useless that had drawn them together.

“That’s not true,” she said softly. “You always go out of your way to make sure I’m satisfied. You never get angry or yell, seriously anyway. I’ve never felt so wanted in my life and…”

“Saiko.” Shirazu placed his hands on her shoulders. “My mother told me that, contrary to what most would say, loving someone does involve changing for them. But, in doing that, it also means accepting them no matter what.” He leaned down and kissed her softly.”If this is something you want to do for yourself then I’ll support you fully, but don’t push yourself to do this if it’s just for my sake. Okay?”

She nodded. “I want to do it.” Shirazu smiled and hugged her. “Plus, we can’t live just off of ramen, no matter how much we might want to.”

They chuckled together for a moment, before Shirazu said, “Come on then, the stores are going to close soon.”


End file.
